Shaderin, Shaderin
The walls are closing in.
Somewhat feel trapped
Miss placed personal space
Getting scared.

Shoe strings tied in knots
Afraid to move, I might stumble.
Caught in God, is this what I want
Too much, but what else
Getting scared.

It comes back with a cardiac arrest.
Some hell somewhere I swear
Everywhere turned into a black tunnel.
Screaming so loud, it echoed in silence.
No one heard, nor did anyone see
The other side so hard to explain, but
White lights after the green.
Greeted me in peach as I passed
Being caught up in a real dream
Was nothing as it seemed because?
When the lights go out
New ones turn on
Silence was burned
Heart stopped cold.
The door was open
Showing me new destinations
And if ….

Wasn’t enough excitement for the night?
I really thought I’d died-n-gone to heaven.
But when the stare case reflected behind.

A look was made back at where he lay
No shame in he game of my spirituality,
Dead for 5, wanted more bloody pain.
It was then it started to rain
Checked myself out into my old self.
A body of no body no soul with goals
Stubborn enough pass it on to another.
Here is my ticket to make things right
Open the eyes gasping for air.
Reality turned against me
Now everything is clear
Wiped me out like I’d never been here.

A part of me is dead, the other right now
Comparing the two on different time lines.
Split one now two more confused.
How can a person with a beating heart
See double vision of what never used to be.
The break is what God gave me.
Miracle Avenue is too real.

Dark tunnels of collapsed religion.
Was the gate being taken?
A walk so pure got me wondering
Is this Hell? For Real.

No joke Casper Script left April 15th
Taxes were due at 11; 30 p.m.
Was broke, could not pay now I doomed.
Asking for a response is wrong
Explaining the journey may help you
Understanding =you’re in hell to!!

Look around and tell me when you died
Complete detail please, no judging required.
See this is an inspiration.
A message from one who’s walked two.
We may be alive the same we were before
Looking at it from a 3rd person perspective
Proves to me something happened back then.

Ever wonder where you would be
If taking the safer way could have changed where you are today?
I’m gone with you.
We so dead we keep asking ourselves
What went wrong?
Who am I, Where did I go?
Being a fallen angel is covered
In corruption, seduction, historical events
Leaving you as a legend.

Life goes on whether you’re dead or alive.
You’ll never know it happened
Unless you are reading this passage.

“Life stopped, but life goes on.
Who you are is, not who you are anymore, but How.
We die the same, resulting life continues.
When did your life stop?
Wondering where it is going?”

“These words written in wisdom”
We see each other
As two persons.
Lives as you see it today
Was just another day.
We continue on our journey.
If you don’t believe your not here, yet.
Wait awhile to see proof in two,

When you fall you shall know.
When nothing makes sense you shall see.
Memories of haunting thoughts
Disrupts the stableness.
You may understand.

Connecting with others
Seeing different colors.
Then taught before
It will make sense
The after life is a continuance
Of where you left off.

Like a game played for real
Check point misery never ends.
Part 1, Part 11, and Part 111 exists.
You are not in it, nor do you believe
That “Life goes on beyond Death”.
It is simply pure nature.
The God we know is ourselves
Past down from generations.
Heaven is a portal none of us will see.
Unless your next chance
It’s not a continuation of last.
You know if you’re in hell
You know if you’re going to heaven
Until then everything is a waiting game.

A PART OF ME IS SCREAMING
Back in the day when everything was clear,
A bottle of pills were introduced to sedate.
These long lasting headaches of being irate,
And now I’m all along screaming in peace.
Oh, these nights and days became one,
People blew out of my life like I forgot.
Some day’s the picture on the wall is too straight,
Needed to just catch a break from screaming.
All a side, why can’t life be peaceful within,
when all i can think is another bottle of pills.
Nothing holding me back but myself,
Just to let go of myself would mean to forget.
All a long just to be loved away from these screams,
A piece of me is torn, forgotten why I’m here.
Just me screaming at the same wall for years,
Life is was made, too late to replace the blade.
Another bottle of sedations, how long do I take these?
Can I just sleep and wake up to when I did not scream!
Flashbacks empower long lasting electro shock therapy,
Live it, breathing slowly, I know I been told to just relax.

Quick grab my hand, I’ve tripped over these headaches,
Sleep erratic dreams, poor me, it’s just that I’m screaming.
Screaming for someone to hear me……
Screaming to maybe understand……how you see things….
All these words mean nothing, can it mean anything,
If all I’m doing is counter acting… these screams….!!!
Apart of me is screaming, the rest is just relaxing…
Written by Jeff Zakovec. March, 2009

I rap better then Donkey Kong.
This isn’t a challenge but I can mentally
Rope you Son?

Got no friends and my wheels do three
The philologist said it might
Be worth physical therapy.
Look Doc, my dick works just fine.
Besides my hand switches off
Like we tag team.

My limp is for your benefit
Here is a head start as
I place myself in a straight jacket.

They don’t call me insane for anything
You got to pay respect or
We’ll see who’s really handicapped.

A Down syndrome crazy wannabe
Ann manic that takes 14 medications. \
Masturbates 13 sensational
Climaxes wears bigger jock strap than you.
Play monopoly correctly,
Cause my retarded like senses
Explain to me you are just
As bizarre as mentally ill reject
That doesn’t understand it.

TIME ONLY TELLS

Woke up one morning from a hard night of working.
Rolled over on one side
Sun shining in.
Like x-ray vision so warm a day to begin.
Seems like yesterday or tomorrow or maybe today.
No Rain in sight
No clouds coming around.
Only time tells the secret
But waiting is paralyzing.
The clock, the clock is ticking why it has stopped.
Sitting down for breakfast
Reading the paper.
Catch a round of cards,
Phase 10 with Shandra
Horse back riding
4-wheeling,
Possibly swimming.
The secret behind time
My fantasy is waiting
Going for coffee, working in the garden
Waling the dog through a grassy pasture.
Maybe tennis, golf, or

A Blow To The Face.

Not only was that comment harsh, but it will be something I never forget
Yesterday, I lifted up my head and almost knocked myself out on the cupboard.
You tell me you’ll be here for me, when you changed the lock to your heart.
How can I be here for you, when your friends are more important.
You blow me away with some of the things you say.
Harsh and twice the pain of before.
A Blow To The Face.

Our times spent together are like sporadic moments of hope.
Faith drove me this far, what make you think you got the rest?
Just because I love you, does not mean you can treat me like you don’t.
How would you like it if someone blew you off like a lost cause.
These boundaries are small from being tossed around like bowing balls.

A blow To The Face
Made These Eyes Swell
A Blow To The Face
Is more pain than the real thing

Why you must blow me off like this, I shall never know
But a blow like yourself isn’t worth my precious time.
Everything is blown out of proportion and your alright with this.
The person who made these marks, bruises, and broken bones
May just have well took a blow to the face.

A Blow To The Face.

-Cabin

Your not special Jeff, don’t think you are.
Haunts me everyday. My name, those words.
Ah, if I screamed you would not hear.
Blind sided, I was never special.

When I heard my name, I knew it was the end.
When the rain poured down, that night driving home.
The delusion was so clear; it runs through my mind, daily.
Blind sided at the intersection, never made it home.

Smoking that last cigarette, looking through the mirror.
For once, I was scared, for once I was alone.
It was the rain, but the words kept on coming,
I was never special, blind sided by pain.

-Jeff