there is a side of me who you will not see.
it’s under the rug and deep in the sea.
Some days just thinking of you, makes me ashamed of who I used to be,
Not only this but you took things away that many can never take.
So violated its like I was mutilated for everyone to see,
as if i was painted a picture of someone who looked like me,
a poster on every tree, how could you do this too me its who i thought you were.
there is a side of me who you will not see.
It’s under the rug and deep in the sea.
What makes it right for someone to fake someone else’s personality.
So cold, so dark must your soul be, laughing at self in pity, so ugly.
Those looks as the cold autumn leaves blow right over my knees,
asking why being struck on lightning, the pain is felt nervously.
walking by mirrors, as each silently break, never knew until i was bruised.
there is a side of me who you will not see.
It’s under the rug and deep in the see.
Scraps up and down my entire life was taken as i was not granted to breathe..
Suffocation being the sick game you play, do you realize what your doing.
How you cheat people like their a rotten piece of candy.
Never will I ever get involved in love again, showing me what love really is.
A Hug, under the rug, deep in the sea, someone who you told people,
a personality, never being me, but you yourself capable of raping me.
-Jeff
- @ Copyright 2009 JZtalk.com
A new year is a coming, happy to all and safe traveling.
One more year older, Much has changed since last year.
My sites have taken on new trials, Yagina.com smiles.
Having one domain with lots of subs, learned much too.
Last year I’ve made 2 dollars, this year making 1000.
Doing numbers to ratio, this explains the business doing well.
Still single with two cats and lots of electronics.
Have 7 Camera’s watching Santa Clause’s move.
Upgraded the internet, 9 megs down, 3 megs up.
First Class using wireless and copper backup.
Doing ok living in solitude, stress is low working slow.
TBS is what to watch before sleeping meds,
Pain is manageable, using a working combination.
Casper Script is a ghost, never wakes, just sleeps.
Days end at 4am, awake when body says ok.
My weight is steady 230, goal hit not starving.
occasionally do I still write, although I do still write.
Winters are hard to maintain body temperature.
Warm covers watching Netflix next to radiator.
Life is too much the same is was last year.
Just small changes how life is seen.
Still don’t smile much, work comes first.
Thinks about many people still,
No, I have not forgotten about you.
Life goes on, 2pac is dead I’m alive.
No bad thoughts, is ok with self.
I don’t miss what I gave up,
It wasn’t my thing anyway.
Still questioning questions with a question.
Still have not smoked a cig in a few years.
Overall, I’ve achieved more than year before.
It’s not making a point, but not having at all.
Learned too much good, not enough bad.
I’m a genius, even though I’ve not invented much.
I’m dedicated, wonders what’s next.
Technology is changing, good thing for that.
-Jeff
- @ Copyright 2009 jztalk.com
Being online for years have taught me there is nothing that interesting anymore. It used to be buying a book was special, chatting online meeting people was oddly enough interesting. Looking at naked ladies took a whole new meaning, watching movies is now cheaper. Information becomes dull. getting tired of information isn’t common these days, because there is always something out there to spark a thought. Being old librarian is a boring person, rather than an intern librarian who’s personality may have spark. Being a old librarian of the internet spending 12 hours each day online has taken a toll on creativity. Going to school seems like a rip off to an old librarian because newer opportunities are not new and are felt lame. The feeling sensors of the human brain are dulled like hairs inside the ears when listening to loud sounds on longer terms. Participation in an informational playground for extended terms are subject to experiencing less excitement in life.
What can boost the emotional signals we receive? The simple and common answer is being more social with others, however being an old librarian others create and run an emotional roller coaster in which we must ride when being with others. It’s a risk. A risk of allowing ourselves to be someone we are not. being in company for example is breaching your inner secrets to company. Secrets are what makes life interesting. Information holds all secrets. Being attached to information is even a greater risk than company. Staying interested in information takes toll on ones reason when searching excitement in life.
The dead end excitors that boost excitement are no longer exciting the excitors in our brain. Within my own research, sex is the only major excitor that excites an old librarians mood. Mood is the roots focus when searching for interest. Even sex is not equal to an intern librarian. Information is knowledge. Kids laugh at funny things normal adults see as stupid and non-funny. The main reason this being non-funny is the amount of information adults have gained.
Hopefully this information makes sense when understanding the brain excitors.
- Copyright 2010 Jztalk.com
There is a side of me you may not understand,
there is a side of me so mysterious and sad.
A side of me you don’t want to see,
also a side of me which thinks you suck.
A part of me wishes i was dead,
a part of me wishes I be richer than you.
A side of me wonders why i go on.
A side of me wishes my ex wife would get aids and die.
There is a side of me wonders what we are here for.
A Side of me is thoughtful and pleasing to be around.
A side of me wishes i could blog more,
and a side of me get writers block, stops and doesn’t write.
A side of me wishes i could meet a nice lady.
There is a side me of my ex wife killed when she is to blame.
There is a side of me that is in pain,
there is a side of me that is at ease.
Parts of me are stuck in the past.
A side of me thinks of what it was like to be glad,
A side of me doesn’t understand why people who love cause so much pain,
A side of me understands all unknown questions known to man.
Yes, I am superman and let it be known,
That just because a side me of people don’t see, probably won’t miss.
A side of me wants to write a book,
then a side of me says whats the point.
A side of me knows that i have much anger at people who betrayed me.
A side of me knows people are the cause of pain.
A side of me knows others will analyze what i say into distorted views.
A side of me cares less about psychosis or professional views.
A side of me wishes I would just shrivel up like death.
A side of me knows people are concerned for the wrong reasons.
a side of me doesn’t want help, because help equals trouble.
A side of me is dead, never get married.
A side of me never smiles, see’s life as it is.
Pick and choose words I say and turn them into your own sentence.
I can be nice, mad or angry within this script.
Not sure what to think about life these days,
the older i get, the more i see it’s not worth it.
People can be concerned, just don’t ruin my life as most people have.
It’s not your business to be in, just a side of me you want.
Pick and choose and lets go with one,
being sarcastic, less interactive, side comments goes on as thoughts.
can never leave, never shut, its like words all they do is fight.
Against one, against two, can’t leave thoughts alone or I’d have three.
Life is never what you make of it, people do it for you.
Never trust another person, a side of me knows it doesn’t matter.
Retards are funny, their faces remind me of a dirty laundry.
JZtalk rocks, unlike you I speak my mind freely.
Lets say one thing, but mean another.
ruin peoples lives, just to look the other direction.
I may not know much about one subject, I should’ve been in theater.
Acted out all my emotions and pain on all things.
These words i write mean nothing to you, it why i dont write.
Stopped writing, speaking mindly, through freestyle,
It’s not worth it, comes back as a letter as if i said something wrong.
Speaking is the problem, why do people speak it disappointing when people do.
-Jeff
I am the type of person who loves gifts. It’s the time of year where emotion hypnotizes people and businesses know it. Living in corporate America allows marketing agents like myself to take all your money and say thanks, please come again. I must explain swimming in cash is fun, being single having sex with women who see my wallet rather than my penis is enjoying the me. Because the BMW can pick up your wife while I burn rubber through the super market buying her food so she can cook for me. Love is not that special, but in god we trust and obey, plus a bribe here and there makes the day more enjoyable.
Yesterday, picked up this chick who was freezing. She wanted to be warm, so I took advantage of this situation. By the end of the day, she was naked in my bed. How wonderful life is, especially when girls ride next to my stick shift just because my car is all warmed up.
So for all you married people out there with kids, the world feels sorry for you. Yes, and when your kids are out of control screaming like they need their poopie diaper changed, it reminds me how being single is a valuable trait. It’s like being a virgin, the purity of knowing how easy life is, rather than looking your way and seeing disaster.
Anyway, I’m sure my shoes look better than your penny loafers you bought from the 1/2 price store in the clearance isle. It’s great knowing how this world is run by money now, and not by family or friends. I would rather trust money, than a friend any day, you must know the friend is your friend because their broke, envying the site of freedom.
Freedom is having lots of money, buying your bitch presents she can love you long time later in the day for. Ladies love money, it’s says “security” and women rather be held in a bmw than a buick. If they say money doesn’t matter then their self esteem is shot, their desperate or never had money so their experiences are limited.
You and your contacts, need to visit www.yagina.com . If you want to get richer than you are now, than I suggest you create a website selling products. It’s a great source of income and can probably set you up with a website like www.yagina.com for $100.00 setup, your own yourusername.yagina.com and 9 dollars per month for hosting, and site managed updates. Once the site is set up there are 5000 things you need to do. and i mean at least 5000 to do’s. Because for each store, you must sign up, then watch your emails, for vendor news.
This is what i can do for everyone out there, because I have some free time this winter and thought you might want to have a full blown shopping website automatically being maintained by me.
If you are wanting to know more about this. you can contact me “jeff.z @ jeffzakovec.com”.
-JZ1977
Welcome to the new home of jztalk.com. This name is easier the remember and spell, plus it’s more professional than using a legal name.
Besides I would like to write some reviews on various products and services yagina.com will be offering.
Hello,
My name is Shannon Arnold and I am one of the affiliate managers for Lender411.com.
I recognize you as a publisher who works with financial-based Affiliate programs. I want to encourage you to engage in the Lender411.com program in the Google Affiliate Network. It’s a simple process: when you drive to consumers to our landing page, they complete a brief application. Based on the quality of the lead, we pay you up to $27.50 per lead.
The timing is excellent right now to earn good commissions on our program.
We are also happy to offer personalized support to our valued Publishers. Launched in 2005, Lender411.com has since helped numerous Americans obtain competitive mortgage loans for their homes. We shift the power of home buying back to the buyer and allow fingertip access to the most competitive loan programs in the country
Key Benefits to Lender411 program in Google:
As an Affiliate Site, Lender411 will make available to you a variety of banners advertisements, buttons, and/or text links to our web site that have been setup within Google, but please don’t hesitate to share any special requests with me.
I look forward to partnering with you and growing your commissions.
Sincere Thanks,
These walls are so thin i can hear my heart begin
to beat across these vain’s.
shaking myself dry, since everything around me is slippery.
accidentally slipped and bumped my head on the door.
Banging it back and forth trying to figure out where to begin.
So the walls are thin, so thin I can almost feel myself breathe.
But if they are thin then why do I perceive them as thick?
Just a sign, just another night of wondering what tomorrow will bring.
This walking path i walk everyday to and from school as suddenly stopped.
Why on earth has this world stopped when it always turns?
To me it doesn’t make enough sense to just get along since it lingers while i walk.
Somehow these days kicking this little rock and talking to it as it was my friend.
ya know, rock. you and i have become friends enough to just hang around awhile.
Rock and I became walking buddies, down this path we kicked ourselves.
This rock and I met, crack and somehow we just start to fall.
Deeper, and deeper through the valleys of dirty paths lined with perfection.
im searching for a way out, he says.
when all of a sudden he goes blind,
shudders and stumbles over every word,
regaining consciousness of what just happen,
I’m sorry, looks like i knocked at the wrong door,
but this door looks familiar, the cool air looks welcoming,
trembling through life to another destination, leaving unquestioned,
Just a site to see, what wonderful beauty, grass green wind blowing,
In another storm, in another storm not welcomed, just let the rain fall,
explaining to myself this quest is just a journey to heal the clouds,
evaporate the rain, rebuild this foundation with stronger construction.
These bricks have been blown over and I’m just trying to put it back.